The following are my ideas for a way to spice up those tired porn websites. These are new themes which could be explored to arouse both the sexes.
1) Casual Casual Sex
People talk about mundane things that happened during their day while fornicating.
Example:
A man and a lady are engaged in some heavy petting. The man mounts the lady while proclaiming, "I saw some nice plates at Crate and Barrel earlier." The lady, who has been completely quiet so far responds, "Are those the ones with the flowers? They would go nice with our glasses." The man thrust his love into her and casually states, "That's true." And they're spent.
Figure 1: "Oh yeah, let's not forget to pick up 3 of those fucked up red eggs while we're out!"
2) Fantasy Sex...wait I meant Fantasy Baseball Sex
Pretty much the same as the above except more angry name calling and slightly more discussion about whether or not J.D. Drew is waiver wire material. Slightly.
Figure 2: I'll trade you Drew for Ryan Ludw-ugh wait I need to finish...Ryan Ludwick. We're good.
3) Sexting
The media has been building this up as the newest craze and it needs to be capitalized on. There's some money to be made here. This site would have two people texting sexy messages until they climax. They may or may not need to be in the same room.
Example:
"r u bang me?"
"yes n bt"
"orgsm"
"i orgsm 2!"
Figure 3: "hi baby. u lk sex n prkn g?"
4) Transformer Sex
Watch as Bumblebee takes a new form as a trailer and hitches himself to the back of Optimus Prime. THEN Jazz drives in and out of the back of Bumblebee's open trailer. This is getting you hot just thinking about it, isn't it?
Figure 4: This accurately describes in picture form what I wrote above.
*tap*
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