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Secrets of Bang-Ban Series: Part 1 - Search Engine Optimization

Dear Internet User,

Regardless of how you got here, or how many times you've been here, you are all probably wondering this: how is it that Bang-Ban is so popular while my e-website languishes in some dark corner of the blogotruck? What is their secret? Why do computers no longer beep when they're upset?

In the spirit of open knowledge, I've decided to start the Secrets of Bang-Ban Series to help answer these AND OTHER questions. You will get an inside look into the behind-the-scenes secret-backdoor-password-protected-clandestine-invisible-woman part of Bang-Ban and your brain will probably get much bigger or something.

Part 1 is about Search Engines.

Here is the list of keywords that have led people to Bang-Ban. Let us analyze it together.

Note: This is real and very secret so be careful when discussing this in public or in private.

1. I have no idea.

2., 3. For some reason we are the only website still talking about Dan Duquette.

4. Birds and shit

5. Some one was looking for real information and was cruelly misled

6. Self-explanatory

11., 12., 13., 17. People don't know how to operate their browser

7., 9., 10., 14. Porn related. This is no accident.

16. Fucking awesome

18., 20. I forget

19. I don't get it

21. TOP SECRET.

The end. You're welcome.

Chapter 7, it is.

Well, here is chapter 7. I have implanted those brain slug things from the Wrath of Khan in it. So you should probably listen to it as soon as possible. I need someone to get me a soda.


Chapter 7



PS There is a good chance that there may be a bit of a lull until the next chapter. I have only recorded through chapter 7 so now it's all about how motivated I am...

Excuses for not Posting

There hasn't been many posts lately. This is everybody's excuse. (Note: I am only finishing this post because the Money Train called me out)

Thorsberg

Physics lab at which he works produced a toxic batch of physics. It is now his job to either clean up or turn into a super hero.

Ferd

Too much free time to post, brain overwhelmed by lack of structure. Trying to learn how to cook a mean Grouse.

Money Train

"I AM Posting. I am the ONLY one posting. You guys do nothing. Why does no one listen to my audio book. I am a tool. I quit and am going to start a rival blog about sports and being a tool."

His Fingers Would Be So Cold.

Check out David Ortiz on baseball-reference.com. bang-ban is blowing up.

I Would Just Like to Point Out...

...That on 11/30/2009 ferd started a draft of a post entitled, "Excuses for not posting".

Chapter 6 & Exciting New News!

You may have noticed a change in the way we are presenting Times of Tension or Welcome to the Pre-Apocalyptic Wasteland. We here at bang ban were able to convince the author that his work is so important that it needs to be saved for future generations. To this end TOTOWTTPAW has been uploaded to archive.org.

We will continue to provide links and embed the audio into the blog for your pleasure, but if you fall behind or want to download a zip file with all of the chapters or download the couple of chapters you missed you can go to the archive.org page via this link: http://www.archive.org/details/TimesOfTensionOrWelcomeToThePre-apocalypticWasteland

OR you can simply go to archive.org and use the search engine. The TOTOWTTPAW page also has a playlist containing each of the chapters available so far so you can listen straight through without having to click on each chapter (as you would have to on the blog). Also, if you feel like leaving a glorious review you can do so.

Anyways, down to business. Here is Chapter 6.