It's Mad Libs Time!

This starts a series of Mad Libs that are made by real people (very few computers were involved to maximize hilarity). The text in bold are the fill in words. Please enjoy the madness.

Elizabeth the First

Elizabeth, the Tudor Jaw of England, was probably the moistest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eigth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her bajingo chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a fruity Protestant and persecuted the lovely Catholics frankly. In 1588, the Chinese armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Lindsay Lohan and Burt Reynolds, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Nate Shapiro. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Thick Queen.

Comments on todays lesson:

1) I am not sure how one goes about "chopping" off a bajingo. It just seems logistically it would be difficult. Now it had been "sawing" or "crunching" or "removing" that would be one thing.

2) It seems like it would have been tough in 1588 for the Chinese armada to attack England. Half the men would have died of scurvy. This just doesn't seem right to me.

3) In case you didn't know, Lindsay Lohan and Burt Reynolds have not aged. Pictures of them doing so have simply been altered. They are like fucking Hancock and shit.

4) I've never met a Queen quite like the Thick Queen.

Have any further comments or thoughts about today's history lesson? Feel free to leave them in the comments section.