SMARTEST PHONE PRESS RELEASE

Check out the latest smart phone, it's called the SmartestPhone!

Is life currently too difficult? Do you barely function? It is probably because your phone lacks the intelligence to keep up with your sexy lifestyle. YOU COULD BE HOT AND HAVE A HOT PHONE AND YOUR LIFE COULD BE STORED IN THE PHONE.

Why do you even leave your house

HOLY SHIT!!!

Can you believe it's even called a phone? I definitely cannot believe it's called a phone. It probably should not be called a phone, that is insulting. It has more features than a space shuttle and provides better conversation than most of your friends. You can store the most important parts of your friends in this phone and slowly replace them. Do as the phone tells you.

Features

- blog about it!
- Google the web for twitter
- look at pictures of friends and of dogs
- HEY KIDS... TEXTING!?
- Touch all of it at once, or not at all

- Auto-call your parents when you get pregnant*

* (phone may be the father)

Upgrade to the Smartestphone and upgrade your life. Pick the color that is right for you, or risk shaming your family.