Monday, June 1, 2009

Movie Reviews by a Person who has seen the Poster

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In this delightful 3D DIGITAL romp by Pixar, an cyborg house designed by the military becomes sentient and begins a wanton path of destruction through the country. When traditional means of destroying the house fail, it is up to a fat Chinese kid and Martin Sheen to stop it. Along the way they meet a dog and some clouds, and the Chinese kid teaches everyone about the importance of regular exercise.

Grade: A+

Star Trek


Star Trek, the classic franchise, is reborn in this breathtaking special-effects laden extravaganza. Three alien frat brothers have been chosen by the Galactic Counsel to save Vegatron-5 from a hostile takeover by beautiful, swarthy fem-aliens. Crispen Glover, who plays the Space-Elf of the trio, spends all of his on-screen time staring directly into the camera. The movie culminates in a 70's-style dance off, which somehow ends up saving the world from the sexiest invasion ever.

Grade: A+

NOW ON DVD

Paul Blart: Mall Cop


In one of the most poignant pieces of film making in recent memory, Paul Blart follows the story of a recently laid-off security guard who has trouble readjusting to his unfortunate circumstances. Throughout his journey of emotional turmoil and self discovery, he explores not only the specifics of his own condition, but much broader themes of post-modern alienation and intra-societal class struggles. Kevin James provides a brilliant, nuanced performance, highlighted by a scene in which he propels his Segway using only his farts.

Grade: A+

2 comments:

  1. I would have just made one change:

    Paul Blart follows the story of a recently laid-off security guard who has trouble readjusting to his unfortunate MOUSTACHE.

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