Sports!

This is what baseball used to look like. The guy on the left was the GM of the Red Sox...Let me repeat that as you stare at this man, the guy on the left ran the entire organization. I honestly can't tell you how often I look at this picture. It is...perplexing. There is some sort of weird allure to it.

I think there a few things that I need to analyze further.

1) The Duke is clearly sneaking in on this picture right? look at his legs. He is in motion. Now perhaps they are all moving forward and this was a staged shot (which would be weird in itself right?) but even so you can't convince me that The Duke isn't moving faster to get into this.

2) Dan Duquette didn't dress himself did he? He looks like he was dressed by his mom based on the general attire and the pant waist to real human waist difference. The most alarming thing has to be the Little League baseball photoshoot hat he has going on. I'm not even sure that thing is physically touching his head.

3) Do you notice how Jim Rice is repelled by Duquette? Not necessarily on an emotional or personal level, but simply on a physical world level. His upper half is uncontrollably being pushed away. I may need a number of human-sized magnets to investigate this further.

4) Does Duquette look real to you? I think he could be a robot. I don't see any genuine emotion in those eyes. It's like he learned how to smile after seeing it enough times on TV. I can't quite put my finger on it, but he may be some sort of robot or a yetti in a man suit.

In conclusion, The Duke appears to be a sneaky 8 year old reverse magnet robot yetti man. We're through the looking glass here people.