Congratulations Baltimore Orioles!

This is your new general manager:

http://bang-ban.blogspot.com/2009/04/sports.html

Wizard Cop - The Graphic Novel

Wizard Cop

Frank Irons was a regular cop from Detroit, just like you or me. One day, while policing a bus of orphans and nuns, the unthinkable happened. The bus was hijacked and while Frank struggled to save them, the bus was driven off a cliff killing everyone.

Stricken with grief and regret, Frank took to the woods to find himself and the strength to never let this happen again. For two years he wandered, until coming across an old shack, deep within the belly of the forest. He entered and was greeted by an old man who said, "Frank, I have been waiting for you. It appears you are finally ready." Frank looked back stoically and simply said, "I know."

For two more years Frank trained in the woods with the old man. He may have entered the forest as a cop, he would be leaving as a Wizard Cop.

Elixir J.C. Washington

I don't know what this means, but it looks like it's supposed to be the opening line of a movie. I say that because it was saved on my computer with the file name movie.txt. I don't know what type of movie it would be. Perhaps some sort of cerebral thriller. I'm thinking maybe it would be about a guy who wakes up one day and suddenly it's as if all of his friends and girlfriend don't exist. Elixir then tries to piece together what is happening to him and what is his real life. Who knows what I was thinking at the time, I just pulled that off the top of my head.

My name is Elixir J.C. Washington. I go to college in the big city, but my bed resides in the not so big city.

I live here. All my friends live here. And my girlfriend Mary lives, here, because she loves rainbows.

Quotes That Need to be in Movies

These are quotes that I overheard or said that I apparently thought belonged in a moviefilm that at some point I would make. One of these ended up in a Radio Bang Ban. So I guess that's something.

"And all these years I thought she was asian."

"Then why are you so parallel?"

*walks into someone* "Sorry."

"Why? We all have to be somewhere."

"Let's see, wallet (touches wallet), keys (touches keys), stenographer. Good to go."

"Bring me the jar of Homo Juice!"

"She's like the Wedge in the movie of my life."

Apparently I couldn't find me keys at the time

In continuing with my never finishing things theme, here are lyrics I wrote during a brainstorming session. They aren't in any specific order. I guess this is kind of cheating because I did use one of these verses in an actual song. Let's see if you can pick it out. The rest of the lyrics I don't even remember writing.

Your personality’s flatter than a tapestry
A map you see
Leading me to the fallacy
Of your life, your strife
Don’t tell me that you’re all right



So why don’t you tell me a story
Of Yogi Bear and Sunday morning
Smiling like a catastrophe
You don’t ask for me
A plastic city
Of your faith, of your time, of your bite, of your rhyme,
Of your rock, of your lie, of the just, and the cr-cr-cr-cr-crime,

Reveal

Of the moon, of the tide, of the just, of the line,
Of the man, of the sign, of the heart, of the mind,
Of your king, of your blind, of your sight, of your kind,
Of your rape, of your sins, of your hate, of your kin,
Of your safe, of your gin, of your lace, of your tin,
Of your gait, of your walk, of your rate, of your talk,
Of your graph, of your pie, of your laugh, of your sigh
Of your wrath, of your tie, of your path, to the grind



My eyes are watching as my head is looking at the stars
The rocks outside have lost their luster
The trees outside are sagging with the weather
And I cannot find where I left my keys

My car is crowded with the leftovers from last night
The train is filled with walking checkbooks
The streets are paved with broken concrete
And I cannot find where I left my keys

Every new beginning...

The theme of this week is unfinished ideas. I often come up with movie ideas or the first couple pages of short stories, but get distracted and never fully finish them or even get them started. For some reason it seems that I get enamored with some idea or thought and yet I lose interest quickly. This means I have a lot of partial projects and very few finished ones. There are song lyrics and no music, music without lyrics, movies that will never be filmed (like Ninja L), stories that will never be finished and so on. For the most part, I like the ideas I come up with. It just is more fun coming up with the idea than actually executing it. So, I have decided to dig through my archives and bring out some of the good ideas and, to counteract that, some of the horrible ones. We started off with Ninja L. I now give you the first and only two paragraphs from the story, The Fairview Incident. I probably wrote this when I was depressed at college, because it was going to be a dark mystery. It's also pretty clear that I never revisited it. In case you didn't know Fairview was a small town.

The Fairview Incident

It’s been raining now for the past five days. The 10-Day forecast calls for more rain. Puddles have accumulated throughout the town and the rivers are at the highest levels they have been in 80 years. To most the nonstop rain elicits the memories of stories heard long ago of Noah and his Ark, the story of God washing away the face of the earth with water. If you ask me though, rain like this reminds me of a small town called Fairview.

Fairview was a small town in western Massachusetts. The town was split in two by the Pentuckett River. One day, in 1945, the river rose more than 7 feet. The town was flooded, the livestock drowned. Everyone in the town was killed by the flood and its destructive path. The rain purged the town in a matter of a day, yet neighboring towns felt not a drop of precipitation upon them. So today the forecast calls for heavy rain and I close my eyes and think of the Fairview Incident.

A Classic.

Ninja L

Ninja L is a film that was never finished. It was barely started. It certainly was never supposed to be made. That could be because it is too awe inspiring and totally original. Of course it could be because I have a job, few willing actors, no real resources and not nearly enough drive to actually work on it. Either way the "screenplay" reads more like a lazy short story than anything. Feel free to give it a read for some good times. If you want to make it yourself you are welcome to.

Ninja L

Twitter

Bang-Ban can hardly sustain itself as a blog, so it seemed like a good idea to move into Twitter as well. With a little luck, you will now get the same months of nothingness from two locations.

To find us just search for bighawkbird on the Twitter website. Getting to the Twitter website is easy. Simply search for Google in Yahoo!, then when you get to Google search for Wikipedia. Once you are on the Wikipedia page search for Twitter. The link should be on the page somewhere.

Except the little fish...

Radio Bang Ban - Episode 4

Another episode of Radio Bang Ban is upon us. In this episode you will:

1. Feel wistful about all of the Planet of the Apes related material
2. Angry about all the good times related material

Wait, maybe it's the other way around. The world may never know. All I know is someone is going to be angry about something.

See all the episodes here: http://www.archive.org/details/RadioBangBan

Netflix Trivia

The hottest new game on the block is Netflix Trivia. Check it out or check it in!

Radio Bang Ban - Episode 3

Well we are back again boppers with yet another episode of Radio Bang Ban.

On this episode you will:

1. Learn about the Jewish culture
2. Remember your childhood
3. Wonder why your ears are bleeding

Go here for all of the episodes

A movie from the archives

PASSING THE BAR

A tax attorney (Christian Bale) with a chronic gambling problem finds himself trapped in China, his passport confiscated by a local loan shark (Jackie Chan). He'll have to win back his passport and his freedom by competing in the underground Chinese limbo circuit. But will he be able to defeat the reigning champion (Gary Oldman) in time to catch his flight?

Radio Bang Ban - Episode 2

Well we are already posting episode two of Radio Bang Ban. Don't get used to it being so frequent because this breakneck pace isn't going to keep up. I will try to provide a new episode periodically, but it is starting to get warm out and I am easily distracted by beautiful butterflies. In any case, we have a new, Eric Kuo heavy, episode for you featuring:

I Think moments with The Money Train
A song from Eric Kuo
Eric Kuo explains the plot to Dreamscape

I am trying out some new taglines for the show here on the blog. What do you think of this one?

Radio Bang Ban: It's like NPR, but with cussin'.




To listen on the go click here

Radio Bang Ban

Hello Kiddies. I know it's been a while, but The Money Train is back and he's brought goodies. Today we have for you, the first episode of Radio Bang Ban. What is Radio Bang Ban? Only the hottest new thing in the ever! It's a collection of stories, interviews, music and the absurd. In today's episode you will hear:

A story by Matthew Long Middleton
Music from Roy G. BV
Late Breaking Fantasy Baseball News
A jealous GPS

Click here to download and listen on your new fangled listening devices

Chapter 14. End.

It's a glorious and yet a sad day in bang ban history. Before you is the final chapter of Times of Tension or Welcome to the Pre-apocalyptic Wasteland. It's been quite a run. This also means that the re-branding of old material is at an end. Although, word has it the author has thoughts of an animated film in the future, however the rumors still have yet to be confirmed.

We do have the honor today or unveiling the new cover art for the audiobook. Isn't that nice? Well I suppose we should get to it. Here is the riveting conclusion to TOTOWTTPAW.

As always, if you want to download this chapter or any other you can follow this link. In fact you can download the whole audiobook at once or listen to it all the way through on the player.

CHAPTER 13.

Well we have come to the final week of TOTOWTTPAW. This is the second to last chapter, so enjoy it while you can. We will have the unveiling of the final installment to great fanfare later this week. And now enjoy this picture.

Oh, and Chapter 13.

Reversal of Length

Funny comment. End.